58. 1. There is a truly conjugial love, which today is so rare that people do not know what it is like, and scarcely that it exists. The possibility of the kind of conjugial love described in the following pages may indeed be recognized from the first state of that love, when it is first stealing into and entering the heart of a young man and woman, as it does in the case of those who are beginning to love only one of the opposite sex and to want him or her as their betrothed. And still more during the time of engagement, as this stretches on and draws nearer the wedding. And finally at the time of the wedding, and in the first days after it.
Who does not then acknowledge and give assent to the following thoughts, that this love is the fundamental love of all loves? Moreover, that all joys and all delights have been gathered into it, from the first to the last of them?
But who does not also know that after this happy time, these glad feelings gradually wane and disappear, until at last they are hardly felt. If at that time one says to these same people the same thing as before, that this love is the fundamental love of all loves, and that all joys and delights have been gathered into it, they neither assent nor acknowledge this. Perhaps they will even say these are foolish notions, or that they are mysteries beyond comprehension.
It is clear from this that the early love in marriage emulates truly conjugial love and presents a kind of visible image of it. This is the case because a love for the opposite sex in general, which is unchaste, is then renounced, and in its place love for one of the sex sits implanted, which is a truly conjugial love and chaste. What man at that time does not look upon other women with a loveless nod, and on his one and only with a loving one?
